Be'ave Yerself

Liverpool a terrible place!
OO the 'eck told yer that?
It's the best place on the planet pal
To us yer should raise yer 'at

Maggie May has become almost virginal
Lime Street an avenue of trees
There's not a whiff of scandal
Liverpool swept by a balmy breeze

Next year 2008
We're the Capital of Culture
There's a Liver Bird up there
And yez thought it were a vulture

Yer in Liverpool I've told yer
An' we're all really really refined
Ferget the guff about thievin' scoucers
Get that nonsense out yer mind

We're the salt of the earth here la
The bad things are just a rumour
Liverpool's the place fer a good laugh
We're noted fer our sense of humour

By George Flannery